Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Some Random Guy's Penis Just Doesn't Thrill Me

Never have I been thought of as being a prude, the opposite in fact - and I have always had a horribly dirty mind!  Not a lot about sex worries me or shocks me, probably because there is nothing new under the sun! 
What happened last night changed my views about myself, and now I am floundering a bit - all because of nude photos of some random men and their supposedly wonderful penises.  Now I really don't know what I think..

Now I blame Google for this entirely, and there is no way they are getting out of this one.  Searching on Google Images for pictures for my hair blog, I entered the search term "hairy legs".   Fine, there should be no problem with that, should there?  How wrong can you be?  Usually images come up on a search that have zero to do with what you are looking for, but it is easy to just skim past them and ignore.  Not so the hairy legs search.

The first few images were fine, men with hairy legs - nope, reject -  couple of women with hairy legs - reject because you can't really see the legs properly.  A few mega stars with hairy legs, nope. Man with hairy legs and his bag of fruit hanging down. EH? Wellll, ok I can see his hairy legs, but nope.  The photo actually made me feel ill.   I have no idea why - and I know that now Google is going to be swamped with women searching for "hairy legs", ha!   I decided the guy was a total exhibitionist and really not that nice looking anyway.   So on I went looking for my photos.

My God!  Another one?  Well Google, you have excelled yourselves this time - what on earth are these photos doing here amongst the hairy legs?  I don't get it at all.  The second photo merited a second look as well, because I am certain this bloke is either deformed or had a penis extension - like the one I am being offered by email every second day.  Now I'd like to see that!    This one is naked man with his brains in hand, about to orgasm any second. Back to the photo, take another look.  Reel back in total shock.  What in the hell has his hairy ass got to do with hairy legs?  And honestly?  He was kind of yuk looking too.  Another sick feeling.........

Forge ahead girl, get the photos, don't be sidetracked o.k.?    Forging ahead I came across a THIRD photo of a nude man with his untidy bits going dingle dangle, and there wasn't a lot there either.   I guess he has a nice smile though.  By this time I am bewildered, worried and not a little frightened, you know?  It is like I am being stalked by a pornographer, and it is definitely not good for my aging heart.

So, still no decent photo of a woman with hairy legs,  but yet another naked, penis flapping pic of a guy who looked as though his biggest fan was himself...... hmm.   Keep scrolling Carol, don't let it bother you.  Down another few inches (pardon the pun) and what do I find?  More of the same!

One guy on there, well I am sure he too had one of those extension things.  Babe, I tell you that if I had ever seen some of these men coming for me with those bits out in front I would have either laughed myself silly, or run for the hills.   Still haven't got a photo for my blog either.  Trouble is, it is starting to get really boring, ooops, unintended pun there.

I decided to go and search again today and am so maaad - the one decent looking bloke out of the whole lot doesn't appear on my new search.  The upshot of all this was that I decided to abandon a pic of hairy legs on the blog, and just go peeking around on some porno sites for some naked men! I'm kidding, honestly.  I just went and had a fruit yoghurt instead!
And no, there are NO pictures of the men on here, for obvious reasons - you don't want to frighten the chickens, do you? HA!

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